I'll be the first to admit it: this Corona business is messing with my brain. Today I was thinking about how proud I am of all those front-line responders and how I wish I could do my part to help society during this crisis. No, no, I know what you're thinking, not that. I have no desire to be involved in the medical profession. EMT? Nurse? Doctor? Not for me. Didn't get Organic Chemistry. Don't like blood, needles, viscera, etc.
The thing I wish I could have been? Supermarket Logistics Manager. This job was my calling and I never knew it. I mean, what is required already? A love of supermarkets? Food? Shopping? Check, check, and check. And when I say "shopping," I mean shopping to see what exciting new flavors are debuting in the potato chip aisle; I mean perusing the shelves to look for new packaging in the cereal aisle; I mean scanning the endcaps to see what great canned foods are on sale this week. See? I even know what "endcaps" means.
What other job could combine two of my passions, groceries and logistics, so perfectly? (Yes, logistics is one of my passions. I think we have already made the case for groceries above.) And to think, I too, could be considered an essential worker, braving the socially-distanced world out there, sitting 6-8 feet from my co-workers, doing the necessary work of figuring out just how much toilet paper needs to go where. *Sigh.* Guess I'll just have to live out my fantasies at Costco, mentally re-arranging all those pallets of wipes, Cheerios, and laundry detergent, reveling in my imaginary successes as I prevent shoppers from surreptitiously climbing the scaffolding to liberate just one, little 10 pack of tissues. I kind of already feel like a superhero.
Anyhow, I'm just gonna sit here, enjoying the silence at the end of the day, appreciating those essential workers that are already out there, getting the job done (thank you!), and imagining other seemingly-staid careers that could have taken me to truly exciting places in this life, like insurance adjuster, bank manager, or customer-service supervisor. And until tomorrow, I'll be wishing you good luck, good night, and good health!